Fall Equinox 2012
Each fall, as a new school year begins, we send our little ones out to gather knowledge and experience right around the time that the rest of nature is finishing up its gathering activities and heading home to hunker down. As the shortening daylight is gently suggesting, “slow down” we see our calendars already beginning to bulge with a flurry of new activities.
Although at first glance it may seem that this tradition of “autumn and back-to-school” isn’t a natural fit with seasonal living with just a little reflection the support presents itself. We can find what we need by observing the exquisite balance of the autumnal equinox and the graceful model of “leaving” being performed all around us by the trees.
The Leaving
If education truly means “to draw out” of the individual, then however we school our little ones, they must end up “going out” and finding themselves through relationships with life. Whether “out” means out into the front yard of your home school, or onto the campus of someone else’s school, it is in the leaving that they find themselves.
When a sudden gust of separation anxiety sent emotions flying in our home recently, we turned to the magic of nature to transform a “bad spell” of anxiety into “an enchantment” with the gifts of change.
At The Warthog School Home Economics 2.0 is packed full of prompts for helping every child learn how to responsibly and sustainably resource their lives. Whether looking for nutritional support or emotional support they are directed to establishing a healthy dependence on local resources first.
With that in mind here is how we worked our attachment magic:
Local Parenting Support:
As parents we resourced ourselves first, so that we could be the calm abiding center for our son. Venice local and parent educator Kathy Gordon helped us tremendously with the Hand-In-Hand approach to separation-anxiety. Then, as always, we “played” to the strengths already inherent in our son and in all children.
As parents we resourced ourselves first, so that we could be the calm abiding center for our son. Venice local and parent educator Kathy Gordon helped us tremendously with the Hand-In-Hand approach to separation-anxiety. Then, as always, we “played” to the strengths already inherent in our son and in all children.
Vigorous exercise as somatic support:
We found this piece essential and easy since our son is firmly rooted in his body. We spellbound his anxiety to some crunchy scrub oak leaves scattered along our vigorous early autumn hike,
We found this piece essential and easy since our son is firmly rooted in his body. We spellbound his anxiety to some crunchy scrub oak leaves scattered along our vigorous early autumn hike,
“What I fear, I leave it here.”
We saw empowerment and joy with each step of this enchantment. We envisioned the leaves readily taking what he had to offer and through nature’s wisdom composting it into something fertile and nourishing.
Hand crafting what we need:
When we listened to our son’s anxiety, we heard either “I want to be at home with momma” and/or “I want momma to be at school with me”. We took that as our cue to introduce him to the protection and empowerment of talismans. In their book Honoring the Great Mother Cait Johnson and Maura D. Shaw provide an inspired explanation of how and why we should teach our children to make talismans. We followed many of their suggestions including *a charming way to seal the pouch:
When we listened to our son’s anxiety, we heard either “I want to be at home with momma” and/or “I want momma to be at school with me”. We took that as our cue to introduce him to the protection and empowerment of talismans. In their book Honoring the Great Mother Cait Johnson and Maura D. Shaw provide an inspired explanation of how and why we should teach our children to make talismans. We followed many of their suggestions including *a charming way to seal the pouch:
“By knot of one the spell is done
By knot of two it shall come true
By knot of three, so mote it be.”
* more on magically empowering language in children
Everything we needed for the project we already had: my son chose fabric from the remnant stash, the contact sheet from our most recent batch of scrap book photographs offered up a family picture tiny enough to be included in the pouch, rosemary from our home herb garden represented remembrance and strength, and a tiny lock of my hair (that to my son’s great delight, I allowed him to snip) carried the folk lore about one’s essence and power being held in the hair. With just these few items our son felt secure in the fact that although physically apart we were still connected - especially since he made a talisman for me to wear as well. Sealed and secured around our necks, these talismans were heavily relied upon for about a week, until the ecstatic water play at his day-care required that his be removed. At that time fun trumped the anxiety and the talisman was effortlessly retired.
The possibilities are limitless for what might create a feeling of empowerment and protection for your little one; a particularly powerful stone, a tiny handwritten love note, an acorn...what’s important is what your child naturally associates with it. Books on precious stones, animal totems, folk-tales, myths all can provide inspiration for connecting to the natural world for emotional well-being.
At The Warthog School we have an entire class called “The Craft”. An obvious play on words, “the craft” being a classic nickname for “witchcraft”, we wanted to highlight the magic that happens when we choose to handcraft our own path through life. We’ve found that The Craft creates a sense of self-efficacy in children by empowering them to literally craft their own vision into being. While gaining valuable skills and confidence by making things by hand, children also receive more subtle emotional benefits that create a foundation they can rely upon during future rites of passage or times of acute crisis. Magically it seems, such benefits like “flow”, ritual, and mindfulness (just to name a few) come readily infused into yarn, glitter, and glue. So, at The Warthog School we glitter and glue with fervor. And when in doubt - we grab a hole punch and/or spin some yarn!
Speaking of spinning yarn...
The Healing Power of Story:
Another ingredient in breaking the spell of anxiety was - story.
We used its power in three ways:
Another ingredient in breaking the spell of anxiety was - story.
We used its power in three ways:
Universal experience:
To normalize our son's experience we showed him that in a book from the library, “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn, even cute little animal allies were going through the same discomfort that he was and that they too were surviving it!
To normalize our son's experience we showed him that in a book from the library, “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn, even cute little animal allies were going through the same discomfort that he was and that they too were surviving it!
Personal experience:
We told him our own stories about facing our fears in childhood.
We told him our own stories about facing our fears in childhood.
Making History (or Herstory):
We helped him to author his own story of triumph over anxiety - which was in its essence a practice in visualization - we narrated from start to finish a detailed account of him going to day-care and feeling secure and happy as I left him at the gate. We gave details about how we would say our goodbye and when the vision was complete we ended it with a classical magical phrase, “It is so” which sums up the truly magical (and very practical!) power of visualization.
We helped him to author his own story of triumph over anxiety - which was in its essence a practice in visualization - we narrated from start to finish a detailed account of him going to day-care and feeling secure and happy as I left him at the gate. We gave details about how we would say our goodbye and when the vision was complete we ended it with a classical magical phrase, “It is so” which sums up the truly magical (and very practical!) power of visualization.
Time in Nature:
Our Loose Leaf Kitchen and Sense-able Garden at The Warthog School helps nourish our children’s growing bodies as well as their souls. We’ve found some of the most magical moments happen spontaneously in the garden. Its when hands are busy shelling peas that a profound personal truth seems to pop out too. The garden reflects our different states from fallow or fertile. It recovers our natural spontaneity and surprises us with its sports. It is the ultimate experience in usefulness. The garden makes sense even when our lives don’t. And, if we allow it, through color, texture, smell, and taste it will make us a sense-able species again.
Our Loose Leaf Kitchen and Sense-able Garden at The Warthog School helps nourish our children’s growing bodies as well as their souls. We’ve found some of the most magical moments happen spontaneously in the garden. Its when hands are busy shelling peas that a profound personal truth seems to pop out too. The garden reflects our different states from fallow or fertile. It recovers our natural spontaneity and surprises us with its sports. It is the ultimate experience in usefulness. The garden makes sense even when our lives don’t. And, if we allow it, through color, texture, smell, and taste it will make us a sense-able species again.
The garden, in its going to seed state, was where our son put his separation anxiety officially to rest.
We enliven each of the eight seasonal “Feastivals” at Warthogs with a chant and in the time that we move from the first harvest to the last, we use a chant by Ruth Barrett (modified):
Go to the very edge
Where the summer ends
And something else begins
Something else begins
As I sat in the sun-dried garden, deadheading the marigolds that had already passed, I sang this chant and I saw our son wander from plant to plant unable to settle. When he finally plopped down in the dirt he stared for a while at the task immediately in my hand.
“Momma, when you and Poppa go to the edge, do you cry?”
“Sometimes. But we always keep going, and amazingly it always ends up being
“Sometimes. But we always keep going, and amazingly it always ends up being
worth it. It can feel scary but really the mystery of it all is exciting...”
And for him that was enough. From that afternoon on he talked about his time at daycare with excitement and enthusiasm again.
Raising children who can remain wonder-full while embracing the mystery, in this culture, requires super natural parents. Visit www.warthogschool.com to give and receive support on that journey.
